Happy Birthday, Thom Yorke!

To my families chagrin, October 7th will always be celebrated in my house because it is Thom Yorke's birthday. While he hasn't yet stopped by for cake and a hug, all of us wish him a very radical day and all the best in general!

Here's an acoustic performance of "Fake Plastic Trees" from "120 Minutes" from 1995.

Purity Ring, HANA Show Review

Purity Ring, HANA 

McDonald Theatre

Eugene Oregon 
October 4th, 2015

HANA came onto the stage to a crowd unfamiliar. Mostly, the crowd consisted of the people under 21 while those over 21 were watching from the McDonald lounge or were still at another watering hole downtown. Her set design was simple consisting of nothing more than some sound activated L.E.D. lights behind parasols and what looked like beaded curtains strung about in the background. The electronic beats came as a refreshing breath to the room and by her first vocal line the crowd was in.  

     HANA walked from one point on stage to the other carrying a persona, like an anime character I wish I had known of before. While demeanor was confident, her vocal didn't always cut through the mix as much as I would have liked, watching a trained vocalist that held the attention of the room reminded me that this EDM movement gives a new place for female artists to shine. Her talent for creating beats that trickle in like a rainforest afternoon shower and her primal vocals, at points hypnotic, will give DJs that simply stand behind their booth a new challenge. And oh, did I mention she totally killed it with a cover of "Here Comes The Rain Again" by Eurythmics!

     The crowd began to shift as more people showed up in the set break. Girls in Japanese-styled school girl outfits, guys wearing animal masks, light up fingers, and girls wearing what I euphemistically describe as "Cochella wear" filed in when it hit me. The Canadian duo of Purity Ring have struck a chord with the American audience by mashing up the surreal and the cool.   

     Megan James, an artist in her own right, had created a futuristic sci-fi vibe with the hair and outfit of a Japanese pop star.  As soon as the music began I felt a music box on steroids with vocals from reverb air had opened in the room.The spherical sounds panned from the stage to my ears and back. It was like being in a snow globe with the arctic lights triggered by Corin Roddick while Megan's vocal lines dripped down to us like icicles. Their dynamics were a favorite for me, moving like a tide luring you in.  

      A strong crowd-pleasing point of the show was when Megan walked up spiral stairs behind Corin to have her silhouette in front of a full moon. Her voice was a wolf's call to dance. And dance we did. The light show alone was worth the ticket price, Purity Ring's art is priceless.

  If anything, the show was a bit short, but don't they always say leave the crowd wanting more? 

Purity Ring has a few more shows in the US and Canada before heading over to Europe:

October 15 San Francisco, California 

October 22 Toronto, Canada

October 24 Halifax, Canada

October 27 Sheffield, UK

October 28 Cambridge, UK

October 29 London, UK

October 30 Utrecht, Netherlands

November 1 Antwerp, Belgium

November 2 Luxembourg, Luxembourg

November 3 Paris, France

November 4 Koln, Germany

November 5 Prage, Czech Republic

November 6 Warsaw, Poland

November 8, Stockholm, Sweden

November 9 Oslo, Norway

Congrats, Karen O!!!!

instagram.com/ko

One of our very favorite people, KO from the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, her solo music work and general kickass behavior, announced via instagram that she gave birth to a baby boy in late September. Not many kids have the right to say their mom did the songs for "Where the Wild Things Are," but this guy already has one of the coolest moms ever. As her first official "Mom move," she introduced the little squirt to the world by playing a Roberta Flack song. She said:

Shortly after we brought him home I held him in my arms and listened to Roberta Flack singing this tune I felt my heart exploding in my chest with a love I couldn't begin to put into words so Roberta's will have to do for now. "The first time ever I saw your face
I thought the sun rose in your eyes
And the moon and the stars were the gifts you gave
To the dark and the endless skies, my love
To the dark and the endless skies"

Bound to be light years ahead of his same-aged peers in fashion and prose, we send Karen, her husband Barnaby Clay and their little fellow all the best! (Also that lots of good songs come to her quickly because we need more of her music, stat.)

Review: Coffee Plant Roaster Eugene

facebook.com/coffeeplantroaster

Finding the right coffee shop is hard. It’s even harder to spill the espresso beans on a place that is great-because sharing means potentially dealing with more people. Eugene isn’t huge, but it isn’t that small either. Because of the large student population, coffee shops have long aimed for the University area to support undergraduates on their way to crippling debt by feeding them coffee and free wi-fi. But this means a patron has to endure the stories, the flashcards, the weird entitlement of one person taking up a table for four because their backpack, laptop, jacket(s), books, and phone barely leave room for their fancy, too-sweet coffee. Some of us are older, and drink coffee black, and just want to pout and pretend to work in peace. Unlike the university crowd, we know the sad truth that whatever we’re writing isn’t going to be the next great American novel, the meeting we’re going to have might not even pan out to a good project to distract us from our day jobs, and sometimes being alone in public is such sweet delight that our hearts would break if we were forced to chat instead of staring into space. Maybe these folk could be called “hipsters”, but let’s err on the side of generosity and instead call them “people”.

facebook.com/coffeeplantroaster

For the time being, there is a haven for such people. Far enough down West 11th to dissuade those without transportation (well, until that EmX expands) and not too close to any major high school, Coffee Plant Roaster has taken enough lessons from Albina Press and Water Avenue Coffee to make sure the above “people” feel right at home. With chalkboard accents and wood panels, Coffee Plant Roaster is bright and inviting to those that know how to spend copious hours in coffee shops. There’s a rock collection to the left and a wall that houses art to the right (currently they are featuring Janale Peterson’s reclaimed pine wood burnings). The staff is nice enough, having enough tattoos and piercings for me to trust them but not so much joie de vivre that I think I’m at a Dutch Bros. Their house coffee is CPR, a strong, nutty brew with a little bitter finish. The more you look around, the more little details you’ll find that show these people are pretty serious about their succulents, cold brew and skinny jeans. But then again, so am I. With enough outlets that you can stay past your battery life, feel free to look for cheap flights to far away places, eat some food that is made on-site and wonder what why you don’t have a book agent.

Do me a favor and don't tell anyone.

BCG’s - Angel Lust EP

From Los Angeles, the BCG’s have emerged to concoct a disturbing and ferociousness groove that thumbs its nose at any sense of conformity.  The BCG’s are not for the faint of heart. What they are is a full contact musical experience landing somewhere between thrash, disco punk and horror pop. They have the creepiness of The Cramps, the energy of The Misfits and the dark synths of Praga Kahn. Their debut release, Angel Lust, is deranged, hostile, and really catchy.

Joel Zimmerman is violent on vocals, disobedient, belligerent and disorderly. He sounds like Steve Bays of Hot Hot Heat on both LSD and amphetamine simultaneously. Joel has the energy that could power a small city or summon the ghost of a 22-year-old Jack Grisham in a séance. The rhythm section of BCG’s is Mikey Cabral laying down thick bass lines akin to The Strokes at certain times and Korn at others. Jose Roldan jams in the swanky guitar fills and effects while Francisco Hernandez bangs on deep tom tom drums that produce big timpani-styled booms and the keys that slice through the choruses of these songs like bombs falling from the sky in a WWII air raid.

The BCG’s make an art out of lyrical exhibitionism. Their words are dark, scoffing and hell bent on targeting underbelly aspects of life and putting them on display for all to see. With themes such as drugs, cutting, and pedophile priests, the BCG’s take archetypal mockery to a whole new level. What happens when our heroes are flawed? What happens when the systems that we trust fail us? What happens when our frustrations hit a boiling point? Well, the BCG’s are there to witness it with apocalyptic funk and groovy horror sounds as they deliver their clever narratives on the world as they see it.

“I like to look at myself cry in the bathroom mirror, while sliding my fingers over your pink razor…I like to leave bloody fingerprints when I shush your swollen lips” (from Sid & Nancy Boi)

The underground punk scene is not dead anymore with the BCG’s on the job. Along with the rest of the Records Ad Nauseam army, they are slowly pushing through the surface and poking their fingers into the eyes of every pop fodder machine that exists in this YouTube generation. These are the next wave of kids taking the pop model and any preconceived notion of wide-appeal sound and tossing it in the wood chipper. You can’t listen to Angel Lust and not have a reaction. It is the stuff of frustration, disorder and the inevitable lashing out that occurs under that pressure…the makings of any good riot.

Angel Lust by BCG’s is available for purchase and immediate download at: Angel Lust EP

Also, be on the look out for the BCG’s collaboration with Terminal A on the forthcoming single “Klaus Barbie Dreamhouse.”  Check out Records Ad Nauseam for more info.

Dead Sara @ Fingerprints

Los Angeles-based Dead Sara recently treated their fans to (2) exclusive in-store performances at the local vinyl bins of Amoeba Music (Hollywood, CA) and Fingerprints (Long Beach, CA).  These performances were a kick starter to promoting the band’s sophomore release, Pleasure To Meet You, but they also featured a rarely assembled acoustic version of Dead Sara with some unique renditions on the band’s favorite powerhouse rock anthems. 

The crowds started amassing in front of the doors at Fingerprints as early as 3:00pm. Those dedicated fans that preordered the CD or Vinyl record of Pleasure To Meet You ahead of time received priority entrance to this general admission event and upon being let in, ran quickly through the store's aisles to claim their 2-feet-from-the-band, front row positions. The lucky fans were allowed to be close enough to the band that they could have strummed Siouxsie and Sean's guitars for them.

Dead Sara entered from the back of the crowd, pushing their way to the front in their typical tongue-in-cheek/photobomb manner, eventually taking their perch upon four high stools only inches away from those in the front row.  After a quick thank you to the crowd for coming out, the band immediately ripped into Test On My Patience and Radio One Two with the crowd jumping right in, clapping out the downbeats and loudly singing out each lyric. Sean Friday and Siouxsie Medley skillfully plucked away on acoustic guitars and sang back-up vocals in hushed tones behind Emily Armstrong's sing screams and stunning vocal power that was in no way lost in this acoustic version of the band.  In the background, Chris Null shook a handheld shaker while brushing a single snare and stomping on what I later found out was Siouxsie’s guitar case, using it as an improvised bass drum. The whole show was very informal and extremely intimate.  It was like we were all in the band’s living room for a spontaneous jam session during a housewarming party.

The band had a surprise halfway through the set when they launched into a risky folk-inspired cover of Nirvana’s “Sliver,” transforming the notorious grunge track into a roots rock country ballad.  They completely nailed it along with the other songs they performed that night.  I sincerely hope that after these 2 appearances, Dead Sara decides to record an all-acoustic album at some point or these powerful renditions will be lost. They brought the all-too-short show to a close with their infamous “Weatherman,” rocking it with just as much energy as they do with the full electric compliment. 

After the show, the band moved to the front of the store where they signed posters, CD's and other memorabilia and of course, posed for countless photobombs until the last of their diehard fan base had left the store.  It was an amazing night and a rare treat for both longtime fans and newbies alike.

Pleasure To Meet You is now available on CD, 12 inch Vinyl, and digital download.  Find out more at Dead Sara

Photo by Susan Proctor

  Photo by Susan Proctor

 Photo by Eric Walden

Feral Kizzy (Long Beach, CA)

Born and bred in Long Beach, CA, Feral Kizzy is a sultry/thrashy assault on the senses.  With the 60’s garage feel of The Detroit Cobras, the synth edge of The Missing Persons, and the punk hostility of Bikini Kill; Feral Kizzy is at the epicenter of the exploding Long Beach local music scene right now.

Feral Kizzy is Kizzy Kirk (vocals), Brenda Carsey (keyboards, vocals), Johnny Lim (guitar), Kevin Gonzalez (bass) and Mike Meza (drums).  Johnny, Kevin and Mike drive the rhythm and beats in the back, laying down the aggressive baselines and punishing cadence of dirty garage rock while out front, Kizzy Kirk and Brenda Carsey cut the crowd in half with full frontal femme sexiness and riot-worthy aggression. 

Kizzy Kirk is a rock star, plain and simple. She is unbridled, unpredictable, and her energy is contagious as she writhes across the monitors, strikes Ziggy Stardust poses, and charges through the crowd with mic-in-hand belting out her poetic verses.  Kizzy Kirk is Patti Smith, Janis Joplin and Joan Jett rolled into one seductive, hot mess.  

While Kizzy rips the mic, the hypnotic keys and angelic harmonies of Brenda Carsey blend in seamlessly behind her adding a synth sugar that offsets that thrash spice.  This unique combination of good and evil is an exhilarating balancing act that keeps the listener on their toes as Feral Kizzy is raw and aggressive while still remaining fun and danceable.  Being at a Feral Kizzy show is like being softly kissed and openhanded slapped at the same time.

Like the cherry on top of the already burgeoning Long Beach local music sundae, Feral Kizzy is a garage/femme/funk/thrash blast for the ears and eyes and should not be missed.

Feral Kizzy’s self-titled debut EP is available online at Feral Kizzy EP

The much anticipated full length album, Slick Little Girl (deriving its name from the Lou Reed song “Make-Up”) is scheduled to hit later this summer (2015).  Find out more info at: Feral Kizzy

Photo credits: Luka Fisher and Robert Ibarra

LoveyDove (Los Angeles, CA)

It’s time to jump into your time machines and rocket back through the rings of Saturn to the LSD 60’s with the groovy and harmonic boy/girl duo of LoveyDove.

LoveyDove is a homegrown band out of Los Angeles, CA that is as visually interesting as they are sonically enjoyable.  The group is Dan West (Fender VI, guitars, keys, vocals) and Azalia Snail (keys, vocals, percussion) who take you on a cosmic journey of sights and sounds as they treat you to psychedlia, soul, pop, and melodic electronica.   Euphoric harmonies accompany cleverly placed lyrics that range from introspective and dreamy to fun and playful, and the Lovey Dove live performance is unlike anything seen in LA.  

The band invites you on a starship adventure that is a treat for the senses with space disco lighting effects, shimmering costumes, and a thoughtful narrative between the songs that describes the sound journey that is unfolding.  The performance engages the audience and transforms any club into a vehicle for interstellar travel.  What is most attractive about LoveyDove is that they are so unabashedly themselves.  They are bold and confident with their sound, their style, and the sonic landscape they wish to create when they are on stage.

As a music critic, we often see the same (or similar) acts over and over again out in clubs around LA and the OC.  However, when you see LoveyDove, there will be no turning back.    So, it’s Orange Blossoms all around at the Aerospace Lounge tonight.  Get up and get your boogey on or just trip out as you lean back in your beanbag chair because here comes LoveyDove!

LoveyDove's self-titled release is available at http://loveydove.bandcamp.com

LoveyDove's new album, ShowStopper, is due out later this year (2015).  Find out more at http://www.facebook.com/LoveyDoveInc

List: Travel Time

Since we're on the road (again), here are some songs about just that!

1. Plane - Jason Mraz

2. Port of Call - Beirut

3. Ramblin' (Wo)man- Cat Power

4. Roadtrippin' - Red Hot Chili Peppers

5. Southside - Moby

6. Paris, Tokyo - Lupe Fiasco

7. Wanderlust - The Weeknd

8. Paper Planes - M.I.A.

9. Air Balloon - Lily Allen

List: Tangos In Musicals

Borrowed from the delightful brain of Tank Hughes, here's a list of some of the finest tangos in musicals.

1. Tango De Amor! – Addams Family Musical

2. Tango: Maureen – Rent

3. Hook’s Tango – Peter Pan

4. Cell Block Tango – Chicago

5. Tango de Roxanne – Moulin Rouge

Heathen Apostles (Los Angeles, CA)

Out of the City of Angels comes a devilish new band with a dark twist on classic American country, bluegrass and murder balladry. The Heathen Apostles  offer a sound that combines gothic and punk overtones with edgy lyrics of murderous love, outlaw crime and damnation.  These heathens have been making a stir around Southern California during the past 2 years and just recently appeared at the annual Ink N Iron Festival at the Queen Mary in Long Beach, CA.

Now, when you first gets a glimpse of the Heathen Apostles, it is hard not to do a double take. This band casts a dark shadow over the crowd as they enter and appear more closely to funeral entertainment for a 19th century downed gunslinger versus an LA club night with twenty-something hipsters in the crowd pecking away at iPhones.  However, with head-to-toe blackness, vintage Victorian-era attire, stern countenance and a wide array of instrumentation, the shear visual of the band can be both alluring and overwhelming. The final blow comes from the diva front woman, Mather Louth (Radio Noir) who normally takes the stage with full funeral head vale, jet black lipstick and pale white skin. Mather out front of this group mystifies the crowd with haunting gazes and enigmatic poses throughout the performances, which transmits both beckoning and threatening signals at the same time.

HA may have roots in many genres, but their combined sound is altogether their own. The band touts familiar names such as Chopper Franklin (The Cramps) on guitar and Stevyn Grey (Christian Death, 45 Grave) on drums, but other band members round out this musically tight and original arrangement including Thomas Lorious (The Kings of Nuthin’) on an upright bass, Viktor Phoenix (Dessau) on both banjo/mandolin and the talented Luis Mascaro on fiddle.

The songs of HA range all tempos and emotions.  From the fast-paced, boot-clicking tunes of ‘Without A Trace’ and ‘Forget Me Not’ down to the somber murder ballads of ‘Before You Go’ and ‘Dark Was The Night.’ The crowd is never stuck in a monotonous or monochromatic musical experience.

HA has a tight musical delivery, an innovative dark approach and an unforgettable stage performance that stays with you long after the performance is over. The Heathen Apostles are not your typical night out on the town and definitely should not missed, as we might be seeing an ushering in of a new genre with possible copycat bands soon to follow.

Heathen Apostles will be playing various shows in and around Southern California including The Hippy Killer Hoedown 2015 in Perris, CA.  Visit the band’s website or follow them on Facebook for more info.

Full length album, Boot Hill Hymnal and 3-song EP, Without A Trace, now available at www.heathenapostles.com

Hot Chip Announces US Tour Dates in May

Live in Portland for the first time since 2012 and behind their just announced new album Why Make Sense (due out in May) don't miss the return of Hot Chip! These cute little dance floor party-makers have been gone too long.

We've gotten a report that each album will have individual artwork. There will be color variants and subtle design differences that when combined lead to unlimited combinations! 

If you need some tunes to make your day a little better, here's the video for the first track off "Why Make Sense"

Not in Portland? That's ok! Hot Chip still loves you. Here are the tour dates:

Tue 05/26/15		Portland, OR	Roseland Theater
Thu 05/28/15		Denver, CO	Ogden Theatre
Sat 05/30/15		Minneapolis, MN	First Avenue
Sun 05/31/15		Milwaukee, WI	Turner Hall Ballroom
Tue 06/02/15		Detroit, MI	The Majestic Theatre
Wed 06/03/15		Toronto, ON	The Danforth Music Hall
Thu 06/04/15		Boston, MA	House Of Blues Boston
Fri 06/05/15		Washington, DC	Echostage

American Horror Story Recap: 4.1 "Monsters Among Us"

We begin in Jupiter, Florida, 1952, where a milkman enters a house where his previous delivery remains untouched. The fancy house still has dinner set on the table, and an elderly woman dead next to the table. As he recoils, he hears a thumpity-thump and heads upstairs with the infalliable weapon choice of a rolling pin to investigate. What he thumps...we don't know. But it is rushed to the hospital and we see it's feet on a gurney being pushed down a hallway. The left toes are painted. The right ones are not.

A doctor and nurse in the hospital are looking at xrays, there's one bladder, three kidneys, two spines, four lungs, two hearts. The doctor is trying to play it cool but the nurse keeps staring instead of taking notes.

Enter the belle of all the American Horror Story balls, Jessica Lange, walking down a hospital hallway. She charms her way past a young candy stripper and gets her own outfit to see the double spined wonder. She gives the stripper a card for “Frauline Elsa's Cabinent of Curiosities” and says the only by entering can she know it's secrets. I bet we hear that line again!

In the hospital room, is the thing itself, conjoined twins. Sarah Paulson takes on this tricky role, and it seemed the editing/effects were a little clunky. Also, after hearing that there are 4 lungs and seeing only their heads are separate, they looked awfully small in the ribcage. When Elsa gives Left a drag on her cigarette, Right exhales, which would contradict the 4 lungs. Until we're told otherwise, the two heads are Right and Left, and we see that Right is not swayed by Elsa's initial compliments. Left, however, is sold on the idea that someone is nice and chatty. Elsa questions them about their sex life: two hearts but one reproductive system.

In an open field, a young couple are getting busy when the young man says he has a surprise back in the car for her. While she waits laying on the picnic blanket, her tulle playing in the wind, we meet everyone's new favorite character, who I am calling Stabby McStabberstiens. I'm sure he has a real name but I don't care.

Tattered suit, matted but still colored pom poms for buttons, an oversized dusty pink rose on his three tufts of colored, dirty hair and a huge creepy grin from a mask implanted into his face. He bows before the confused and scared lady and offers her fake flowers. The young man comes back and Stabby gets mad and earns his name by, well, stabbing him. Excessively. He's clearly not heard of the 'bros before hoes' adage.

A stereotypical diner has Elsa reading the papers and clipping movie reviews of Marlena Dietrich. She has a whole notebook of similar reviews, which doesn't seem obsessive at all. She sees a slick fellow flirting with her waitress. She knows him and interrupts by asking him to try her lighter. He tells Elsa that they all have to move away from the field they're renting. But Elsa has a plan. When the waitress asks her to close out her check, Elsa says it's on the house because stars never pay.

In a lovely house, girls in dresses are discussing their husbands' lack of sexual appetite. A woman emerges from the back room looking happy and diseveled. The host announces it's the next girls turn. When she gets to the room, we see the guy from the diner, Jimmy. His fingers are melted together in twos, sorta like the penguin's. The girl lays on the bed and he turns his “deformity” into a “proformity.” Just doing what he can to make the world a better place.

Elsa confronts the twins, or more accurately from Right, who silences Left mentally. But Left is eager to talk. Sadly, she just blabbers and Elsa calls her on her just using the plot of Gaslight. Elsa recommends they get their story straight before the cops come.

Stabby McStabbersteins is wandering through a house while a radio reporter talks about the 4 brutal murder in the past two weeks. Stabby takes Corey, the 8 year old boy. In the next scene, we find out where. He's being stored in a cage on a bus along with another, older girl. He takes his time showing them things, apparently trying to put them at ease but then laughs when they ask to leave. He shakes noise makers at them and then tries making balloon animals. When it goes askew, and the balloon pops, the kids startle and then he just gets mad and throws balls at the cage to scare them more. Clearly these children aren't ready for such showmanship.

Right and Left are packing when Elsa drops by to chat. Elsa has it figured out. Bette (Left) wanted to go out to a movie and ended up killing their mom when she says no. Dot (Right) could have stopped her, but decided to later stab Bette in the chest. Both girls are stuck and confused as to what Elsa wants, until Elsa explains that she simply wants them. Cue the twins walking to the entry of the freak show; Bette feeling free and hopeful, Dot far more weary and concerned.

Bette is sold on the 'bigger the star the bigger the tent' life with fancy things. Dot writes in her diary that she's not thrilled. Until she meets Jimmy Darling, who sends her a wink. The bearded lady is Kathy Bates and she's charged with preaching the gospel of Elsa. Elsa, she says, rescued her. More to come later, I imagine. Dot says they aren't anyone's trained monkey and won't perform. But Ethel explains this is the best possible outcome.

Jimmy and his friends are putting up an ad for the Siamese sisters when a car drives by throwing crap at them and calling them freaks. That will come back I'm sure.

Candy striper ruins Elsa's movie night by saying she wants to leave. Elsa calmly explains that she is just feeling the opium and can but not speak of her time here. Candy is all “hell no! I was ravaged!” and wouldn't you know, the movie Elsa is watching of Candy with.....pretty much everyone. “There's nothing to be ashamed of,” Elsa explains. The monsters are the people of the little towns, she explains. They don't have souls, and everyone is living the life they choose. Elsa is informed that the show has sold out for the night, every single seat.

Turns out Jimmy is Ethel's son and he wants out. But Ethel's God is Elsa. Jimmy sounds like he just wants to live a life outside the freak show. Ethel's compromise is telling Jimmy to get the twins to like it at the show. When a cop comes to arrest the twins for their mother's murder, Jimmy get pissed and impulsively stabs the guy in the throat. Dot is in TRUE WUV when he uncuffs them. “You saved us,” she said. “Now you save us,” he replies. And Dot is now a believer!

So who bought out the show? A man and his mom. Dandy is the son and he's a weirdo, making his

On to the show! Ethel is the announcer,showing off the line up and Dandy is so amped. But no more so than when he sees the sisters. And then we see Elsa Mars. Her talent? Singing on a cardboard rocket while in a periwinkle suit and Hedwig makeup. Now I'm not sure you can make Jessica Lange ugly. But the super tight old lady perm hair and horrid makeup come close. But so much glitter and everyone's working together! It's like the end of Rocky Horror, Hedwig and Rushmore. Elsa finishes her song to realize noone

Dandy wants to buy the Siamese Sisters. His mother (Francis Conroy) offers 15,000 “and not another penny unless she grows another head.” Dot turns them down to Elsa's delight. They're a family now. Dandy's mom leaves by throwing shade on Elsa's singing. Stabby rides the carosel, all alone.

After the show, Jimmy leads the crew to the woods and preaches about being left alone. And how if that's can't happen, they should rise up and take the happiness they deserve. If they want to call us monsters, we're gonna act like monsters, he says. He looks at Dot. “And that means you, because you're one of us now.” She swoons. Then they stab the ever-loving shit out of the cop's body as Stabby looks on from the woods. Could this be his home?

Ethel and Elsa have confession time where Elsa shares that her reason for bringing on the twins is so people will come, hear her sing and then she'll become famous. She cries and her cakey make up runs. Her hair flattens. She listens to “Auf Weidersein.” She pops her prosethic legs off. Maybe growing up with school shooting and Iraq wars has numbed me to missing limbs, but to me I was waiting for flippers or bird heads. She just doesn't have anything below the knees? That's not freaky.

The future:

Is Stabby part of the crew? He wasn't in the dance number. Elsa wants to stay and his rampant stabbings will bring a lot of unwanted attention. Any truce they forage will be temporary. Chiklis is apparently not Stabby, and Stabby has a name. Booooo. My love for either is untarnished. We'll talk about each next time.

Bette's head is always to the side which looks like a strange photoshop, not like something that she could hold for any amount of time. Yes, I'm saying there'd be a huge muscle strain if your second neck and head were constantly askew. They both have bob haircuts, but Bette's is always lopsided. Just saying.

Oh yeah, those kids are still locked in the cage somewhere. I hope Woody Harrelson and Matthew McConeghey show up and bust them out.

Coming up this season: Emma Roberts is back as a freak show head hunter/possible fortune teller. Angela Bassett is the 3 boobed hermaphrodite. Jimmy volunteers Dot to sing and she busts out Fiona Apple's “Criminal” to the ire of Elsa. She's going to need to kill her meal ticket. Stabby is bought/stolen to be a private clown for Dandy, which could set up a war of the freaks since Dandy and his mom seem to not like the “unbreakable” family ties of the show.

Everyone is about showbiz this year. And discrimination. And skeletons mimicking sex. And two heads, sometimes switched.  And protecting your people, though I'm sure that will fall asunder by the next episode. :) Bring it.